Never Have I Ever
by Sesshomaru-Sara
Summary: “...If only you were older,” Deidara whispered, “I’d let you have what you wanted.” [ItaDei, technical shota, shounenai, 3rd PoV]


"...Up for some drinks, boys?"

Everyone looked up to the blue man stepping towards them and proudly gesturing the bottles and bottles of undignified liquors and alcohols. Everyone cheered as the fish man tossed them around, but stopped at Itachi. The boy was only 13, after all, and probably couldn't hold his liquor; much less make use of it legally. Deidara, however (and still being 16!) cooed as he was passed some beer. Kisame frowned at the blonde and returned his attention to his kid partner, who had nervously curled into himself on instinct, looking even smaller. Kisame nudged him with a bottle, and the kid only glanced at him.

"...You sure you don't want one?" Kisame whispered. Itachi hesitated. Fortunately, it was Deidara that was across from Itachi, wiggling his bottle frantically for Itachi.

"Come on, Itachi-kun! It's really fun!"

"How long have you been doing this?" Itachi asked. Deidara snorted, popping the cap off with a kunai.

"Long enough, un!"

Kisame smiled at the answer, and without any further ado, tweaked the top of the bottle and set it before Itachi, who only stared at it curiously.

"...Took me a while to get used to the taste, so don't worry if it tastes gross at first," Kisame consoled. Itachi gave a curt nod and picked the bottle up, sniffed it, and took a quick sip. His tongue fell from his mouth as he sputtered, and the Akatsuki around him laughed heartily. Deidara smiled a bright smile.

"...Can't handle it, Itachi-kun?" the older boy spat out. Itachi frowned. He could handle anything. He proudly took up the bottle again, and taking a deep breathe,

Downed it.

All arms flew into the air in whooping hollers as they cheered for the youngest member wiping his mouth on his sleeve and developing a striking pink color to his cheeks. Kisame gave him a heard slap on the back as he toasted the rest of them and they all guzzled it down. Right when Itachi thought himself done, another open bottle was set before him, and he mentally screamed. One was horrid enough; what did they want from him?

"Strong, huh? Show us what you got!" Hidan hummed briskly to him, giving his own bottle a swig. Itachi twitched. Deidara was watching him with such strange eyes...Eye.

"How about...Never Have I Ever?" Deidara questioned, quietly nursing his beer. Agreements erupted from everyone, save the boy who knew nothing of the sort.

"...What?" Itachi asked, the alcohol slowly taking control of his senses. His brain just wasn't working. Kisame grinned and waved them off to begin the game before leaning to his partner.

"...It's a drinking game." Kisame waited for Itachi's nod, which slowly came to cue. "One person starts out saying 'Never Have I Ever', and then they tell everyone what they've never done. Anyone who HAS done that has to take a drink. It ends when there's only one person sober enough to speak clearly."

"...Are you playing?" Itachi whispered. Kisame nodded, and in turn, so did Itachi. Determination flared in his non-efficient brain, and he glared at Deidara, who only returned it full force. This was it.

"...Kuzu, why don't chu start it off?" Hidan said, blinking slowly into his drink. Kakuzu only shrugged.

"Never have I ever...Been to the Mist."

Kisame took a long, long gulp, chuckling as he finished his beer off entirely and tugged out a new one.

"...Can only compensate for the birthplace and all," he told them. Deidara took a drink as well as Sasori. Sir Leader had been known to hold his liquor like no other, and seeing as he's been everywhere, he drank, laughing lightly at Itachi, who was pouting. Zetsu drank without a comment, and Hidan growled.

"That was boring, Kuzu." Kakuzu growled right back.

"Care to think of something else?"

Hidan only smirked, holding his beer high above his head.

"Never have I ever been turned down for a lay!"

Kakuzu snarled, slugging him straight in the bicep, Hidan curled into it, purring.

"Pain turns me on, Kuzu."

Another blow was initiated, but this one was to his jaw. Hidan held it gingerly.

"Well FUCK, Kuzu!" Hidan tossed his beer to the side and tackled the other man. With the partners wrestling on the floor, Sir Leader scoffed.

"Disqualified."

Both men groaned in disappointment, but Sir Leader turned his attention to the remaining players, quirking an eyebrow.

"...So, men, who here has been denied? Tell no lies."

With a sigh, Kisame swigged his, shrugging sadly.

"...It's not very surprising, with this face," Kisame admitted. Itachi blinked up at him before turning to everyone else. Zetsu took a sadly huge mouthful. The flytrap was a babe repellent, everyone agreed, and the split personalities were a bonus. Sir Leader's bottle stood undisturbed and a smirk lit his darkened face. Sasori and Deidara remained unmoving.

"...Itachi?" Deidara droned with a laugh.

"Come on, Deidara, you don't actually think this kid isn't a virgin," Kisame vouched. Itachi frowned at the both of them, gripping his bottle tightly and taking a swift drink.

The table was silent, even Hidan and Kakuzu's bickering had quelled.

"...Kid..." Kisame whispered. Itachi's face felt like it was burning, and taking a deep breath, he ran a hand through his raven hair.

"...I...Asked someone once...But...They said no," he confessed quietly. Memories of his past life bubbled to the surface, but all he wanted to do was squash them into the dirt. Shisui was nothing he ever wanted to remember.

It was hard for the game to regain momentum after that, and Deidara continued to stare at Itachi, though his look was more questioning and concerned. He huffed, looking over at Kisame for support. He gave a weak smile.

"...You don't have to explain if you don't want to...You don't even need to drink, if you think it's too unnerving." Itachi shook his head, tapping the bottle quietly.

"...No, I'm fine. I just want to join." Deidara appeared to have overheard, as he grinned playfully.

"...You sure, Itachi-kun? It it's too much, you can always stop, un."

Itachi stuck his tongue out like the child he was and shook his bottle a little. Deidara's grin widened; that was the spirit.

"So!" Sir Leader started loudly, "It's my turn?" he looked to Itachi, who only nodded lightly and looked at his bottle. The man beamed.

"...Never have I ever...had a little brother."

Itachi almost keeled over; it was not hurtful as to what they thought it would be. No, Itachi loved torturing Sasuke like no other, playfully or sternly. He took a long gulp and let out a quiet laugh. Itachi was the only one to take that drink.

The game continued, growing higher in sexuality every other confession. Itachi's face was blood red at nearly all of them, and could not come up with very interesting confessions himself. He wasn't educated in sex or the lingo, and half of the things they all said. He kept to himself, and every once in a while would take a drink. It seemed entertaining to everyone else, so he tried to make sense of it.

Nearing the end, Sir Leader grew bored and decided to retire. Hidan and Kakuzu left, of course, and Zetsu grew near fatally ill (Plants and alcohol don't mix). Sasori had left after feeling a little dizzy with a last slip of his hand over Deidara's shoulders affectionately. Kisame was slowly losing it, and Itachi looked like he did before the beverages were even displayed. Deidara gave a drowsy Cheshire grin at Itachi; someone so young holding their liquor so well!

"...K then...I think hi might be dun," Kisame drawled. He patted Itachi on the shoulder before stumbling to his quarters. All that was left were the two youngest and their fresh beers. Deidara had the first move.

"...Never have I ever eaten pancakes, un."

Itachi damned his mother for making such delicious breakfasts: A drink.

"...Never have I ever been...Blonde."

Deidara gave a snarl, 'That was low': A drink.

"...Never have I ever kissed a family member, un."

Itachi had to hesitate. His first thought was Shisui, and he shook his head with a scoff. 'One memory is enough for tonight': A drink.

"...Never have I ever worn women's clothing."

Deidara nearly choked on his own tongue. Fuck that recon mission, it so wasn't worth it, un: A drink

Itachi laughed at that last confession. He hadn't really expected Deidara to take a drink!

"...Never have I ever had a Christmas, un."

Itachi's head throbbed at that: A drink.

"...Never have I ever kissed a girl."

Deidara looked at him with wide blue eyes. "...Really?" Itachi nodded slowly, blinking. Deidara took a long swallow, still eyeing the boy across from him. He was beginning to look red in the face, and his suspicions were answered as Itachi pressed a hand to his forehead and swayed.

"Kid, you okay?" Deidara asked quietly. Itachi kept his eyes closed and refused to answer. He had promised himself he'd win, and he wouldn't let this wooziness beat him.

"...Naaah, nah, I'm fine," he fumbled out. Deidara smiled to himself as he gave his confession.

"...Never have I ever...Been an Uchiha."

Itachi nearly slammed his face into the table, but realizing his headache would only increase tenfold, he took an appropriate amount to overtake his sinful name. His bottle had one last go in it, but his brain had officially shut off. Now was the time for reckless spouting, and words a sober Itachi would never usher. Laying his burning head on the table, he buzzed quietly. Deidara withheld a snicker loudly, and Itachi raised his head a little.

"Wait, wait...Hi got one..." he whispered happily. Pointing shakily at the blonde, Deidara waited for it.

"...Neva have I eva...Sen such pretty eyezzzzzzz."

The beer in Deidara's mouth came spraying out with a quick hiss and the splatter of the alcohol on the table and the floor. His laughter bounced off the walls loudly and did not cease for many a minutes. Shaking his head, he coughed a little happily.

"Ah, that was good. Itachi, I think you're done."

"No!" the boy cried, eyes the color of lazy blood. Deidara chuckled to himself again. "I'm no' dun yet!"

"Fine, since your last confession wasn't very drink worthy, think of another."

"...Bu' that one wuz true," he whispered, leaning over the table. Deidara couldn't stop his amusement, even as Itachi crawled over the table and kissed him. Itachi slipped in a puddle of beer and fell straight into Deidara's lap, but Deidara only spread his legs to accommodate the boy. Deidara took his last drink, his bottle finally empty and tossed it to the side. He was amazed at himself for being still, if only slightly, still sober! Itachi tried to form together coherent words, but all that came out were mumbles and droned hiccups. He forgot it altogether and pressed his lips to Deidara again. Deidara didn't really refuse, but he was at least sober enough to realize what was right and wrong. Slipping a hand to the boy's chest, he slowly pushed him back. Itachi's head lolled to the side exhaustedly.

"Okay, you're done, kid. I don't want a bitchy Kisame all over me in the morning for totally banging your sluttish ass," Deidara chortled, sluggishly pulling the Uchiha to his shaking feet. He didn't stay up for very long, and Deidara groaned a little at having to carry him to his own room. All the while, Itachi was squirming and grabbing for Deidara, purring and moaning.

"Pleeeeaaaazzze," he cried out, clawing at Deidara's shoulders and arching up from his arms. Deidara shook his blonde head, looking at the younger with half-lidded eyes.

"Too young for this shit, kid," he said quietly. Itachi groaned loudly.

"...Bu' you wuld if I wuz older, righ'?"

Deidara stared down at Itachi, who was staring up at him just the same. He would have answered, if they were not at his room. Deidara slowly slid Itachi into his bed and removed his shoes and cloak. Itachi arched again, and Deidara was forced to keep him down by pressing a hand to his stomach and leaning down to him.

"Itachi, stop it. I'm not going to have sex with you." Itachi let out a quiet whine, seeing as he would wake the others in the rooms adjacent.

"You didn' answer meh ques'ion."

Deidara frowned, and finally with a withdrawn sigh, crawled over Itachi's smaller body on the bed. Itachi took that as a good sign and arched again, but was only pressed down again. Deidara's mouth was at Itachi's ear and his breath sent the boy into shivers.

"...If only you were older," Deidara whispered, "I'd let you have what you wanted."

This last kiss, the last kiss Itachi would receive before waiting almost 5 long years, was given by Deidara. He wiped black hair from Itachi's eyes and kissed his burning forehead, nuzzling it softly as his golden hair tickled Itachi's red cheeks. Itachi's mouth hung slightly open as Deidara removed himself and stroked Itachi's face one last time. The blonde smiled as he closed the door, and Itachi fell quickly into a sleep that would last for many undisturbed hours and end with a brain-splitting headache that was eminent.

"...Maybe some other time, kid."


End file.
